So you’ve probably stumbled here because you’ve got some basic questions on anal training. How do you start anal sex training? Do you need anal training if you’re not using butt plugs? Is anal training for sex with a penis different than those who are just wearing butt plugs? Can you use lube for anal training? We’re hoping to answer all of those questions, as well as give you a general how-to for anal training below.
The first question I’ll tackle – Do I need to go through anal training? In our opinion, anyone who has never had anal activity before, and wants to start, needs to go through at least a basic bit of training. This is for those who are going to have anal sex with a penis or realistic dildo, as well as those who are planning on wearing butt plugs. The muscles around the anus need to get used to being stretched, and anal training can achieve that. Anal training doesn’t need to be viewed in a negative light. Many couples who are in the D/s lifestyle use anal training as part of their power exchange relationship. Other couples like the ritual of anal training – especially for those who are anal virgins.
What tools do I need to get in order to start anal training? In reality, anal training can be done with no toys or tools whatsoever other than a good thick sexual lubricant. Some couples choose to use their fingers and penis as their anal training kit, and use nothing else at all. However, this doesn’t appeal to everyone. We suggest having at least a few tools in addition to your body when going through anal training, depending on your desired outcome. For those who are anal training with the end result being anal sex with a penis or a dildo, we suggest getting a series of increasingly thicker anal plugs – specifically, the ones with straight sides that are slightly tapered. We also suggest getting a dildo that is specifically made for anal play, close to (or slightly smaller) than the penis or dildo you will be using long term.
For those who are looking to train in order to wear anal plugs, we suggest finding smaller plugs with a slight bulge and a large base. The larger base makes control easier, and will provide a bigger area to grip for removal. Again, a series of training butt plugs is best. In both cases, the toy should have a narrow tip that slowly flares out to a larger size.
What about lubrication? We really feel that the second most important thing when it comes to anal training is adequate lubrication. (The first most important thing being communication between the two individuals involved!) There are a couple of things to keep in mind when choosing an anal lube. Most anal lubricants are silicone based. Silicone lube tends to be thicker and lasts longer so are preferred for anal play. The down side to silicone lube is that you can’t use them certain materials. For instance, using a silicone lubricant with toys made from silicone may result in the silicone in the toys breaking down over time. You also should not use silicon lube with latex condoms. Silicone lubricant also tend to be a bit more difficult to get out of clothing and sheets. Water based lube is compatible with almost every type of sex toy material out there, and can be used with latex condoms. The problem with using water based lube when it comes to anal training is that it tends to be more runny, and wears off quicker. You’ll have to reapply water based lube frequently during your anal training.
Are there lubricants that can make anal training less painful? In a word, yes! There are a number of anal lubes out there that are marketed as desensitizing lubricants‘. These lubes have additional ingredients that numb the area. Be sure to read the directions with your desensitizing lube, though. Some require that you leave it on the area for a number of minutes before starting your play, while others are meant to be used right away. Be careful when using desensitizing anal lube when you are having anal sex, though, as the lube can desensitize the penis as well!
That being said, you really shouldn't use them for your usual anal play. A better way to make sure things are as least painful as possible is good communication with your partner, a slow and steady pace, and LOTS OF LUBE.
Do I need to have an enema before anal sex? This really depends on your preference. Individuals who perform anal sex for a living often use to clean out their cavity before sex. This is purely for an aesthetic reason, and does not need to happen. Some couples like adding the enema into their anal training routine as part of the whole experience. For day to day anal sex, enemas are not needed.
What are the steps to anal training? Once you have your chosen tools and lubes, then the training can begin. First, the one that is being trained needs to be in a relaxed state of mind. Stress will make the area tighter, which in turn will make training more difficult. Start with your most narrow toy. If using your fingers, start with the pinkie. Lube up the object, and slowly press it into the anus. Slow and steady movement is key. This isn’t the time to start with thrusting motions. At this point, you are only looking to stretch those muscles. Gradually move up to larger sized items once the trainee is comfortable doing so. When using fingers, move from the pinkie, to the pointer finger, then slowly adding fingers until you achieve the size you are looking for. For dildos and plugs, use increasingly larger diameters over time. This is when anal training kits that come with multiple sized toys come in handy. Once the desired size is reached, swap over to the penis or realistic dildo. This process varies in time from person to person. Some are only able to take a few minutes of anal training per night, while others can go through multiple steps in one evening. It all depends on the trainee.
How often should the training be done? Any time you go for longer periods of time without any anal penetration, some period of ‘adjustment’ should be spend. For those who have gone months without any anal sex, they may need to go through the entire process again. Other times, only a simple ‘warm up’ is needed.
What if I start bleeding from my anal training? There are times when a slight bleed can happen from anal training. This can result from a number of reasons, including moving through the steps too quickly, using a thrusting action rather than a simple insertion, or from just going through training in general. Wearing a menstrual pad can help prevent the blood from staining your clothing. If there is a large amount of blood or the bleeding continues for more than an hour or so, see a doctor.
How do you clean anal training tools? This entirely depends on the materials that your sex toy is made from. The majority of sex toys can be cleaned with warm soapy water. Be sure to remove any mechanical parts (inserted bullet vibes and the like) before placing them into the water. Silicone and glass toys can be placed on the top rack of your dishwasher and put through a normal cleaning cycle. Alternatively, you can boil them on the stove top for five minutes for sterilization as well. Always check your toy to be sure which cleaning method is best.